Shit I post on Fourtheye that doesn't deserve a new thread

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Shit I post on Fourtheye that doesn't deserve a new thread

Post by hellboy » Sat Aug 31, 2013 11:50 pm

New Newsletter is out:
Without much other news this month, I was hoping to be able to more accurately report on certain rumors involving this so-called "curveball" from the band that has been recently tossed around on certain fansites. Being unable to drive my car while on medication after having a 'wisdom' tooth extracted, I figured that I could astral project myself to the (Tool) loft to look for further evidence. So, after passing one of my variations on "The Popcicles are in Bloom" tests, I received clearance to engage in a certain Projection-by-Symbol technique (symbol doorway) and soon found myself dissociated from any physical bounds and ready for a hopefully successful journey.

Once in my non-physical vehicle (a consecrated blacked-out bubble), although I could have arrived at the Tool loft almost instantaneously, because I hadn't been out and about in my subtle body for a while (if you don't count the recent oral surgery), I decided to first check out the plasticity of the co-existing planes, only to find myself stuck in the mass transit debacle of one of the interpenetrating slow going boulevards.

Looking around from the safely of my murdered out bubble, all around me I could see the usual astral creations and visitants - a multi-colored ballet of perichorertic impressions and radiations gathered at crowded neon-splashed dimensional transfer-points and way stations beneath billboards advertising "Dripping Feet (sic) Elixirs" and the new season for the "Real Housewives of Atlantis" (Damn these too similar special co-ordinates!). Yep, there they were everywhere within the mindscape - elementals, phantasms and contaminated astral bastards with shiny golden tokens to Pacoima astral hells. (A pox on all those O.T.O. Minervals and the wandering nature of the mind!).

Looking closer, I was beginning to wonder if I was really in my aftermarket wheels? What with the contaminated silicone monstrosities with their clip-in crayola extensions and designer Eco Totes sipping peach cobbler frappuccinos juxtaposed with the tattooed street urchins wearing Pimpstar hoodies and snapbacks while eating phantom(?) shriveled intesti-tubes right off the greasy 7-11 rollers, could these really be light-energy mechanisms? Whatever the case, having enough of these braided Yesodic nymph-orbs and spherical weirdoes with their edgy boutique barber cuts and laser ironed ball sacs, I softly tumbled in the darkness and without any restrictions whatsoever entered the heavily bolted doors of the loft whereupon, as one might imagine, I began exploring the front room.

The first thing that I noticed was that some of the band's equipment had been moved back to their usual places, meaning that the guys had probably delivered the goods to MJK, and were now back in their 'normal' writing session mode. Then I saw further evidence on a new Dry-Erase board that was filled with indecipherable scrawls written with a red marker. Studying this the best I could, I realized that this indeed was a curveball of the likes of Feller or Blylevin. But then again, a better baseball pitch analogy might be that of a changeup such as thrown by Martinez, Verlander or Glavine.

Not completely convinced by the mnemonic devices and such on the board, as a test of sorts, I moved in the darkness to the antique Pepsi cooler in the adjoining room and opened it to find hyper-mineralized oxygenated alkaline water and several bottles of St. Pauli Girl. The latter I attempted to change into Budweiser in order to make sure that I was really at the loft as opposed to some imaginal landscape. Unable to do so, I knew that I was definitely in the right place. Perhaps the satay skewers of Thai leftovers on the bar should have been enough proof!

Continuing, I saw some sheets of a crudely printed calendar, which I soon realized was a schedule for future Tool writing sessions. Turning it to the month of September, I had to shake my head in disbelief. Not again!!! And with a perfectly good Gelson's close by. Oh, well, at least I now knew what my next (September) newsletter was going to be about. Before doing so, however, to answer those email questions about any contention between the supposed hidden track, "Problem 8: The Riemann Hypothesis" and the "Bethlehem Abortion Clinic" record in the spoof catalog in the import release of the "Aenima" CD, I can tell you unequivocally that there is NOT (other than the obvious). And as for the name "Volto" being an anagram for "Tool V", although technically it is, this is merely a coincidence...

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Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by the chill » Sun Sep 01, 2013 12:24 am

I dig the av hellboy!

As for the newsletter typical Blair. I am a pro at skimming the newsletter's for important news. Do you guys think the curveball is not related to the album? Whatever it is, he sure as hell been draggin it out a while.

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Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by Kittaan » Sun Sep 01, 2013 12:43 am

At this point, Tool releasing (not re-releasing) anything could be seen as a curveball.
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'][' [[]] [[]] ][,
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Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by '][' [[]] [[]] ][, » Sun Sep 01, 2013 12:55 am

If someone who had never heard TOOL's music read that, or any of Blair's newsletters, they would think that TOOL is quite lame.

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Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by hellboy » Sun Sep 01, 2013 1:10 am

If someone who had never heard TOOL's music read that, or any of Blair's newsletters, they would think that TOOL is quite lame.
Good for them I guess. I stopped caring what uninterested parties thought of things when I was about 20.

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Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by '][' [[]] [[]] ][, » Sun Sep 01, 2013 1:20 am

hellboy wrote:
If someone who had never heard TOOL's music read that, or any of Blair's newsletters, they would think that TOOL is quite lame.
Good for them I guess. I stopped caring what uninterested parties thought of things when I was about 20.
I highly doubt that.

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Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by insertcrypticnamehe » Sun Sep 01, 2013 2:00 am

Opiate 20th anniversary re-release 6 month anniversary re-release?

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Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by not tyson » Sun Sep 01, 2013 2:17 am

'The first thing that I noticed was that some of the band's equipment had been moved back to their usual places, meaning that the guys had probably delivered the goods to MJK, and were now back in their 'normal' writing session mode.'

Huh, what does that mean?

Normal means they've got the core of the songs down and now are just playing around with the arrangements?

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Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by sublime5446 » Sun Sep 01, 2013 4:21 am

insertcrypticnamehe wrote:Opiate 20th anniversary re-release 6 month anniversary re-release?
Lol.

Blair has never once come through on actually talking about any of these big things or curveballs. Strange because he seems to be really well acquainted with big things , fleshy ones at least ;)

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Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by hellboy » Sun Sep 01, 2013 7:44 am

Not Tyson wrote:'The first thing that I noticed was that some of the band's equipment had been moved back to their usual places, meaning that the guys had probably delivered the goods to MJK, and were now back in their 'normal' writing session mode.'

Huh, what does that mean?

Normal means they've got the core of the songs down and now are just playing around with the arrangements?
It is strange. I sounds to me like they have recorded something, and I'm not sure they'd go to the effort of recording outside of the Loft if it were just for Maynard's benefit.

Adding 2 and 2 together suggests to me that they've recorded something, and it's probably to do with the curveball.

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Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by Ravenpig » Sun Sep 01, 2013 1:23 pm

"Equipment had been moved back "

Maybe Adam and Justin spent some time in Arizona while Danny was Voltoing it up?
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Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by trilobite » Sun Sep 01, 2013 2:32 pm

I took that as they had certain equipment moved out to record the music for MJK, and have since moved that equipment back.
also, Avatar!

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Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by ilikecheese » Sun Sep 01, 2013 6:26 pm

blair wrote:But then again, a better baseball pitch analogy might be that of a changeup such as thrown by Martinez, Verlander or Glavine.
Interestingly enough, the aforementioned Detroit Tiger pitcher Justin Verlander shows us all of his 'pitch grips.'

Curiously though, one pitch is explained.....but not shown.

[BBvideo 560,340][/BBvideo]

Is this coincidence? Blind luck? Fate? Or are there other, more sinister, powers at work here?



And how did I find this video so fast and make this connection?
The above post is entertainment. It is most likely not directed at any individual unless specified. Any other interpretation, gleaning, or reckoning, of this post without the express, written, consent of Cheese, is strictly prohibited.

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Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by Kittaan » Sun Sep 01, 2013 6:41 pm

ilikecheese wrote:And how did I find this video so fast and make this connection?
Easy: Because you are Blair. Everyone knows it.
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Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by MOG » Sun Sep 01, 2013 10:59 pm

*insert sarcastacuntish Tool/Tool fan related post here*

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Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by Kittaan » Mon Sep 02, 2013 2:20 am

MOG wrote:*insert sarcastacuntish Tool/Tool fan related post here*
Mog is just phoning it in now.
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Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by ilikecheese » Mon Sep 02, 2013 9:12 pm

Kittaan wrote:
MOG wrote:*insert sarcastacuntish Tool/Tool fan related post here*
Mog is just phoning it in now.
If by actual phone I sincerely DOUBT IT!
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Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by N.Y.H.C. » Tue Sep 03, 2013 9:58 pm

I think "ilikecheese" aka Blair, should break it down for us Fourth Eye style. BING!

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Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by ilikecheese » Wed Sep 11, 2013 12:50 am

The above post is entertainment. It is most likely not directed at any individual unless specified. Any other interpretation, gleaning, or reckoning, of this post without the express, written, consent of Cheese, is strictly prohibited.

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Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by Kittaan » Wed Sep 11, 2013 5:36 am

ilikecheese wrote:monkey killing monkey!!!
Dude! Monkeys are EXPLODING there. Right now. EXPLODING MONKEYS.

Much better band name than Arctic Monkeys by far, just saying.
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Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by ilikecheese » Sat Sep 21, 2013 1:45 pm

The above post is entertainment. It is most likely not directed at any individual unless specified. Any other interpretation, gleaning, or reckoning, of this post without the express, written, consent of Cheese, is strictly prohibited.

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Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by Krazy_blah » Sat Sep 21, 2013 9:08 pm

Would've been better if the Adam Jones from Baltimore was wearing that- he was in the opposite dug out FFS. Such a damn shame they wasted that golden opportunity.
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Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by hellboy » Fri Oct 11, 2013 11:45 pm

Big Business got some new shit coming:
Big Business have called a press release to announce their new album Battlefields Forever which will be released on Halloween for your listening pleasure.



Sounds like they won’t be touring for a while though, as singer/bassplayer Jared is expecting a baby shortly, so no tours until Spring. This would also include the Melvins, so I’m not sure what version of them we’ll see here in December but I’m expecting it’ll be the 4-piece from their last tour with Butthole Surfer Jess Pinkus on bass.

For those with short memories, Big Business supported Tool during their 2007 tour.

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Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by fortysixand2 » Sat Oct 12, 2013 1:17 am

Jared looks weird without the hair.

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Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by N.Y.H.C. » Sat Oct 12, 2013 9:27 am

hellboy wrote:Big Business got some new shit coming:
Big Business have called a press release to announce their new album Battlefields Forever which will be released on Halloween for your listening pleasure.



Sounds like they won’t be touring for a while though, as singer/bassplayer Jared is expecting a baby shortly, so no tours until Spring. This would also include the Melvins, so I’m not sure what version of them we’ll see here in December but I’m expecting it’ll be the 4-piece from their last tour with Butthole Surfer Jess Pinkus on bass.

For those with short memories, Big Business supported Tool during their 2007 tour.
isn't the guy all the way on the right in Dream Theater? I could be wrong.
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