F O U R T H E Y E

Without much other news this month, I was hoping to be able to more accurately report on certain rumors involving this so-called "curveball" from the band that has been recently tossed around on certain fansites. Being unable to drive my car while on medication after having a 'wisdom' tooth extracted, I figured that I could astral project myself to the (Tool) loft to look for further evidence. So, after passing one of my variations on "The Popcicles are in Bloom" tests, I received clearance to engage in a certain Projection-by-Symbol technique (symbol doorway) and soon found myself dissociated from any physical bounds and ready for a hopefully successful journey.

Once in my non-physical vehicle (a consecrated blacked-out bubble), although I could have arrived at the Tool loft almost instantaneously, because I hadn't been out and about in my subtle body for a while (if you don't count the recent oral surgery), I decided to first check out the plasticity of the co-existing planes, only to find myself stuck in the mass transit debacle of one of the interpenetrating slow going boulevards.

Looking around from the safely of my murdered out bubble, all around me I could see the usual astral creations and visitants - a multi-colored ballet of perichorertic impressions and radiations gathered at crowded neon-splashed dimensional transfer-points and way stations beneath billboards advertising "Dripping Feet (sic) Elixirs" and the new season for the "Real Housewives of Atlantis" (Damn these too similar special co-ordinates!). Yep, there they were everywhere within the mindscape - elementals, phantasms and contaminated astral bastards with shiny golden tokens to Pacoima astral hells. (A pox on all those O.T.O. Minervals and the wandering nature of the mind!).

Looking closer, I was beginning to wonder if I was really in my aftermarket wheels? What with the contaminated silicone monstrosities with their clip-in crayola extensions and designer Eco Totes sipping peach cobbler frappuccinos juxtaposed with the tattooed street urchins wearing Pimpstar hoodies and snapbacks while eating phantom(?) shriveled intesti-tubes right off the greasy 7-11 rollers, could these really be light-energy mechanisms? Whatever the case, having enough of these braided Yesodic nymph-orbs and spherical weirdoes with their edgy boutique barber cuts and laser ironed ball sacs, I softly tumbled in the darkness and without any restrictions whatsoever entered the heavily bolted doors of the loft whereupon, as one might imagine, I began exploring the front room.

The first thing that I noticed was that some of the band's equipment had been moved back to their usual places, meaning that the guys had probably delivered the goods to MJK, and were now back in their 'normal' writing session mode. Then I saw further evidence on a new Dry-Erase board that was filled with indecipherable scrawls written with a red marker. Studying this the best I could, I realized that this indeed was a curveball of the likes of Feller or Blylevin. But then again, a better baseball pitch analogy might be that of a changeup such as thrown by Martinez, Verlander or Glavine.

Not completely convinced by the mnemonic devices and such on the board, as a test of sorts, I moved in the darkness to the antique Pepsi cooler in the adjoining room and opened it to find hyper-mineralized oxygenated alkaline water and several bottles of St. Pauli Girl. The latter I attempted to change into Budweiser in order to make sure that I was really at the loft as opposed to some imaginal landscape. Unable to do so, I knew that I was definitely in the right place. Perhaps the satay skewers of Thai leftovers on the bar should have been enough proof!

Continuing, I saw some sheets of a crudely printed calendar, which I soon realized was a schedule for future Tool writing sessions. Turning it to the month of September, I had to shake my head in disbelief. Not again!!! And with a perfectly good Gelson's close by. Oh, well, at least I now knew what my next (September) newsletter was going to be about. Before doing so, however, to answer those email questions about any contention between the supposed hidden track, "Problem 8: The Riemann Hypothesis" and the "Bethlehem Abortion Clinic" record in the spoof catalog in the import release of the "Aenima" CD, I can tell you unequivocally that there is NOT (other than the obvious). And as for the name "Volto" being an anagram for "Tool V", although technically it is, this is merely a coincidence...

If someone who had never heard TOOL's music read that, or any of Blair's newsletters, they would think that TOOL is quite lame.

hellboy wrote:

If someone who had never heard TOOL's music read that, or any of Blair's newsletters, they would think that TOOL is quite lame.

Good for them I guess. I stopped caring what uninterested parties thought of things when I was about 20.

insertcrypticnamehe wrote:Opiate 20th anniversary re-release 6 month anniversary re-release?

Not Tyson wrote:'The first thing that I noticed was that some of the band's equipment had been moved back to their usual places, meaning that the guys had probably delivered the goods to MJK, and were now back in their 'normal' writing session mode.'

Huh, what does that mean?

Normal means they've got the core of the songs down and now are just playing around with the arrangements?

blair wrote:But then again, a better baseball pitch analogy might be that of a changeup such as thrown by Martinez, Verlander or Glavine.

ilikecheese wrote:And how did I find this video so fast and make this connection?

MOG wrote:*insert sarcastacuntish Tool/Tool fan related post here*

Kittaan wrote:

MOG wrote:*insert sarcastacuntish Tool/Tool fan related post here*

Mog is just phoning it in now.

ilikecheese wrote:monkey killing monkey!!!

ilikecheese wrote:Adam Jones seen in Tampa Bay dugout during game.

Big Business have called a press release to announce their new album Battlefields Forever which will be released on Halloween for your listening pleasure.



Sounds like they won’t be touring for a while though, as singer/bassplayer Jared is expecting a baby shortly, so no tours until Spring. This would also include the Melvins, so I’m not sure what version of them we’ll see here in December but I’m expecting it’ll be the 4-piece from their last tour with Butthole Surfer Jess Pinkus on bass.

For those with short memories, Big Business supported Tool during their 2007 tour.

hellboy wrote:Big Business got some new shit coming:

Big Business have called a press release to announce their new album Battlefields Forever which will be released on Halloween for your listening pleasure.



Sounds like they won’t be touring for a while though, as singer/bassplayer Jared is expecting a baby shortly, so no tours until Spring. This would also include the Melvins, so I’m not sure what version of them we’ll see here in December but I’m expecting it’ll be the 4-piece from their last tour with Butthole Surfer Jess Pinkus on bass.

For those with short memories, Big Business supported Tool during their 2007 tour.