Donkey Punch the Spin

[azbay]

Just sliding a mile six inches at a time

[The Boss]

majordoucheismyhero said
I rarely post my opinion but decided to pipe up after listening to DPTN tonight.
What I have heard feels so incomplete this go around. Can you even call it an EP? I guess so, but when there are mostly covers, remixes, and only, say, two new songs to it, you gotta feel bad for the people who pre-ordered the god-damn thing.

What is with the song Breathe? I try so hard not to criticize Puscifer's creative work because usually it only takes a day or two to feel in tune with the entire album, EP, etc. and fall in love with the songs, but after listening to Breathe a few more times, I just didn't want to hear the repetitive line: "the body has needs" and then have the song drift off into some black hole of nothingness. Where did the song go? Really. That was just... weird. I found that one song really off-putting and that is too bad as I was looking forward to several layers, a build, a crescendo, yadda yadda. Just my two cents there.

With all that said, I am happy MJK's still being creative and trying new things. I have been a fan of T00L for so long but I can't even listen to any of T00L's albums anymore because I pine for new music. Which is too bad because for so many years I was more than happy to line up their entire discography and go on my own little journey with the music. I have to skip over the "T' section now and play some new favorites like Yeasayer or Florence and The Machine.

Unfortunately I think we are witnessing Maynard's slow withdrawal (retirement) from a project that ultimately brought him to where he is today.... allowing him to live the life of leisure (should he chose) and allow him to focus on creative endeavors such as wine making.

I just wish one thing... that MJK would one day tip the hat to all the fans who have been faithful all these years... as a musician in today's climate, you are lucky if you last a year, and if you do, you have to sell out in some way down the line in order to stay relevant. MJK has got to acknowledge this, alone and in private, or publicly, I don't care how, just hope he is humbled by this little fact and maybe give back, sincerely, some day (suggestion: like don't charge for backstage meet 'n' greets?)


Well said.

 

[markuspoop]

I like how if, subjectively, you if you like just a song or 2, or most of/all of anything Puscifer does, you're a big MJK-deep-throat-cock-sucking-fan-boy/girl.  And that it's much cooler to just "hate" from the anonymous realm that is the interweb.

Remember though, boys and girls, spitting or swallowing is solely up to your own discretion.

Talk about generalizations to the max.

 

 

[Ravenpig]

Or how "C" is for..... and C.O.M.P. were very well reviewed around here, but one bad EP with only two original songs means May Jay/Puscifer is "done".

 

Yes, I agree that this release isn't very good, bad even.  It honestly seems like it was made to fill a gap in his schedule.  But it doesn't mean anything more than that.

 

And lastly, if you truly wanna see "fanbois" go to the comments on Puscifer's instagram/FB/twitter etc.  They make the 5/5 reviewer look like he hates it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[void]

I think in general it's just difficult for some hardcore Tool/Maynard fans to get over the fact that Puscifer sucks. The other work he's been involved with all has been really great and amazing (save for the get-out-of-contract "eMotive" bullshit) so it's hard for hardcore fans to admit that Puscifer is bad. Some of you just keep rationalizing why he's doing it! Just admit it sucks!

 

And if you like it...well...you're...just kinda dumb lol

 

 

[Ravenpig]

^"don't like what I don't like!"

[The Boss]

markuspoop said
I like how if, subjectively, you if you like just a song or 2, or most of/all of anything Puscifer does, you're a big MJK-deep-throat-cock-sucking-fan-boy/girl.  And that it's much cooler to just "hate" from the anonymous realm that is the interweb.

Remember though, boys and girls, spitting or swallowing is solely up to your own discretion.

Talk about generalizations to the max.

 

 


LOL, wut.

 

[The Boss]

markuspoop said
I like how if, subjectively, you if you like just a song or 2, or most of/all of anything Puscifer does, you're a big MJK-deep-throat-cock-sucking-fan-boy/girl.  And that it's much cooler to just "hate" from the anonymous realm that is the interweb.

Remember though, boys and girls, spitting or swallowing is solely up to your own discretion.

Talk about generalizations to the max.

 

 


Look, mate, I've said several times that I'm a huge PUSCIFER fan. Love it. Really do.

But "DONKEY . . ." just fucking sucks.

I'll be honest, I have no idea what your post was all about - so RIGHT NOW, I'm listening to the EP.

. . .

Dude, this fucking sucks. There's no "cool" factor, or whatever you were chasing. This is bad.

Ugh.

 

[void]

I'm kinda just being contrary and (trying to be) funny, but you just have to admit that Puscifer is kind of stupid. I mean...Maynard doesn't write much music or play an instrument himself, yet he's the one dictating what these people in the band are supposed to do/write, it's kind of ridiculous.

[markuspoop]

Crow, your kinda preaching to the choir here on this one.  Like I said a page or 2 ago, for me there were maybe, maybe 2 songs on DPTN that I'd probably listen to a 2nd or 3rd time but other than that I did think the EP was crap and not worth another listen.  Maybe one day I'll give it a 2nd go 'round, but not in the foreseeable future.  But I'm not gonna scream it from the rooftops like it's some set-in-stone fact.

All I was really trying to say is that it's pretty pointless to try to bitch about something as subjective as musical tastes.  I mean I think Muse sucks.  But I'm not gonna get on Matt's or anyone else's case for liking 'em or try to show that I'm fighting an uphill battle with "well said" and "forum faith restored" type of posts to convey that I'm not the only, lone dissenter.  That there are actually others like me.

I mean, will there be Tool fanboys who happily lap up everything Danny, MJK, Adam, Justin all do?  Yeah, probably.  Are there people out there rubbing out loads to DPTN because it's so freaking awesome?  Yeah, probably. There's someone out there right now that probably things One White Onion is the best fucking thing since sliced bread.  There's probably someone out there who went out and bought Predator 2 because Adam Jones did special effects work on that movie.  Like big deal, that's all.

I don't think there's anyone here on this forum who happily gobbles up everything MJK or Danny or anyone else in the band does, but what do I know.

Chicken Little out

[BellJH]

void said
I'm kinda just being contrary and (trying to be) funny, but you just have to admit that Puscifer is kind of stupid. I mean...Maynard doesn't write much music or play an instrument himself, yet he's the one dictating what these people in the band are supposed to do/write, it's kind of ridiculous.


 

To be fair, he does play bass and I assume also piano/keyboard.

[UndKeineZwEier]

BellJH said

void said
I'm kinda just being contrary and (trying to be) funny, but you just have to admit that Puscifer is kind of stupid. I mean...Maynard doesn't write much music or play an instrument himself, yet he's the one dictating what these people in the band are supposed to do/write, it's kind of ridiculous.


 

To be fair, he does play bass and I assume also piano/keyboard.


And guitar I believe.

 

[void]

Not well enough to lead a band. His only documented bass playing is TexANS which is one string 3-chord punk riffs. And then guitar playing at Lateralus era shows 2001-2002, where no one could ever confirm if he was actually playing/amplified. His "piano playing" is also hitting a key here or there during Vicarious...come on.

[ilikecheese]

markuspoop said
Crow, your kinda preaching to the choir here on this one.  Like I said a page or 2 ago, for me there were maybe, maybe 2 songs on DPTN that I'd probably listen to a 2nd or 3rd time but other than that I did think the EP was crap and not worth another listen.  Maybe one day I'll give it a 2nd go 'round, but not in the foreseeable future.  But I'm not gonna scream it from the rooftops like it's some set-in-stone fact.

All I was really trying to say is that it's pretty pointless to try to bitch about something as subjective as musical tastes.  I mean I think Muse sucks.  But I'm not gonna get on Matt's or anyone else's case for liking 'em or try to show that I'm fighting an uphill battle with "well said" and "forum faith restored" type of posts to convey that I'm not the only, lone dissenter.  That there are actually others like me.

I mean, will there be Tool fanboys who happily lap up everything Danny, MJK, Adam, Justin all do?  Yeah, probably.  Are there people out there rubbing out loads to DPTN because it's so freaking awesome?  Yeah, probably. There's someone out there right now that probably things One White Onion is the best fucking thing since sliced bread.  There's probably someone out there who went out and bought Predator 2 because Adam Jones did special effects work on that movie.  Like big deal, that's all.

I don't think there's anyone here on this forum who happily gobbles up everything MJK or Danny or anyone else in the band does, but what do I know.

Chicken Little out


how to suck two cocks at one time

[The Boss]

markuspoop said
Crow, your kinda preaching to the choir here on this one.  Like I said a page or 2 ago, for me there were maybe, maybe 2 songs on DPTN that I'd probably listen to a 2nd or 3rd time but other than that I did think the EP was crap and not worth another listen.  Maybe one day I'll give it a 2nd go 'round, but not in the foreseeable future.  But I'm not gonna scream it from the rooftops like it's some set-in-stone fact.

All I was really trying to say is that it's pretty pointless to try to bitch about something as subjective as musical tastes.  I mean I think Muse sucks.  But I'm not gonna get on Matt's or anyone else's case for liking 'em or try to show that I'm fighting an uphill battle with "well said" and "forum faith restored" type of posts to convey that I'm not the only, lone dissenter.  That there are actually others like me.

I mean, will there be Tool fanboys who happily lap up everything Danny, MJK, Adam, Justin all do?  Yeah, probably.  Are there people out there rubbing out loads to DPTN because it's so freaking awesome?  Yeah, probably. There's someone out there right now that probably things One White Onion is the best fucking thing since sliced bread.  There's probably someone out there who went out and bought Predator 2 because Adam Jones did special effects work on that movie.  Like big deal, that's all.

I don't think there's anyone here on this forum who happily gobbles up everything MJK or Danny or anyone else in the band does, but what do I know.

Chicken Little out


?

[Gwarden]

Definitely a comedown after Conditions of my Parole.

 

I'm enjoying the remixes but it's not a very substantial release.

[markuspoop]

crow011 said
?


you:  If anyone thinks DPTN is a good or average EP (despite the majority on here thinking it's no good) they're nothing more than a slob-knobbering MJK fanboy.

me:  Why worry about what others consider good, bad, or average music?

you: ??

me:  ??

 

[ilikecheese]

? and the mysterians man...groovy and what nots...yeaaaa.......

[MOG]

m

markuspoop said

crow011 said
?


you:  If anyone thinks DPTN is a good or average EP (despite the majority on here thinking it's no good) they're nothing more than a slob-knobbering MJK fanboy.

me:  Why worry about what others consider good, bad, or average music?

you: ??

me:  ??

 


me: Because it's a fucking MUSIC forum.  People do tend to debate/discus music, particularly Tool and member side projects seeing as this IS a Tool forum.  Not exactly rocket science.

 

Now, do I think it is fair to rail on someone because they enjoy Maynard's latest shitty EP?  Absolutely not.  However, if someone pops in here pontificating on the fucking thing like it is some kind of fucking musical watermark then I am going to put that position on blast.  Not the individual mind you, but the argument certainly.  Furthermore, there is, without question, a group of rabid fanbois/fangirls that seem to want to suck Maynards dick and toss his salad regardless of what he does.  Maynard makes wine.  They go buy it.  Maynard sells used shooting targets.  They buy that too.  Maynard sells a fucking picture of bathing in grapes.  They are all over that shit.  Maynard sells used toilet paper signed and they would get it framed.  You get the point.

 

Puscifer is a mixed bag.  While Maynard has created some gems, he has created an equal amount of terd nuggets.

 

And finally, yes I can see some merit in the argument that those fans that absolutely love the latest EP would also enjoy gobbling on Maynard's johnson.  Why you ask?  Because the latest EP is shit.  On any level, musically, it's shit.  Just like Nickelback is shit.  Again, not rocket science.  You know shit when you see shit.  Or in this case, hear it.  I could understand someone possibly liking a song, or maybe a certain element of a song, but in it's entirety, Donkey Punch the Night is a terrible release.

[username]

Okay, I guess I will post my opinion and why I think this is a great EP after listening to it pretty steady off since it was first loaded on Spin. First off, no I am not just a MJK fanboy that is here to pledge my allegiance to his genius, and second of all I don't like all of Puscifers tracks like I can pretty well say I do for Tool and APC. Momma Sed was pretty much the only song I liked before COMP, the harmonies at the end kill me, and The Undertaker I loved if I was in the right mood.

The first time I heart Breath I was confused, judgmental and thought it was pretty lame but after a few listens its actually a pretty fuckin decent song, the breakdown with Carina says "Surrender to the hunger" and then goes on to moan is so tastey. Basically I started out not liking it and wondering WTF Maynard was thinking but it kept pulling me back and now I love the entire EP.

MJK has been talking about releasing only a couple songs at a time and clearly this is a good example of that. I thought it was pretty cheap to release an EP with only two new original songs but I gotta say, Dear Brother has got a great fucking bass line and the vocals got a great hook. Check out this badass lyrics too:

|"Reminiscin' on our indestructible days. The party never seemed to end, we donkey-punched the night away. Sin after sin, 25/7, some risky business my friend. Fortune seemed to favor us 'round every dark and twisted bend. But you can't cheat death, can't prolong the Grim Reaper. This glass I raise is heavy, heavy as my heart this day. The Reaper slipped right past us, bastard stole your breath away."|

Then Balls to the Wall, I never heard the original but Maynard picked a great fuckin song to cover and man did they do a good job of it. Those lyrics are so great in that song, I am glad I got to hear them because without this cover I never would have. The drumming is really tastey throughout the album.

Finally Bohemiam Rhapsody took a while to grow on me but I love the original so much I've kept listening to it. I love the Rocket Man cover, and I was listening to BR and I finally understood the approach they took with it. At first I thought it was lame hes singing a song he clearly isnt hitting the high notes on but it sucked me in. Many of MJK covers are pretty rad really, I mean Imagine, When The Levees Breaks, Rocket Man, and now Bohemian Rhapsody, its nice to hear a new version of a great song even if its a different style.

Anyway I haven't paid for any Puscifer products, or CDs, I did see them live, but I think Ill purchase this EP cause the artwork has grown on me along with the music.

[Casey Tatum]

USERNAME, I honestly, HONESTLY couldn't of said that any better myself...

These serious "TOOL fans" really need to take a fucking hint and lighten up. Puscifer isn't meant to be this marvel of depth and spirituality; it's partly meant to be a joke. That is obviously evident from the title "DONKEY PUNCH THE NIGHT" along with the artwork, with the words "PUSCIFER" scribbled on like a child. The name Puscifer is comically genius in itself, the absolutely perfect pun. It's fucking hilarious.

The joke is on you if you don't get it.

No, Puscifer is no TOOL, but what else is honestly?

Maynard doesn't give a shit about any of us, stop crying about it. He hates us, we all know it. We deserve it too, which is the funniest part about all of this. We are the all dancing, all singing crap of the world...

...and i want to officially declare that i want to suck Maynard's dick while simultaneously listening to the "hidden" track on Salival... ...that was the first true Puscifer track...

[Casey Tatum]

somebody please recognize how knowledgful and intellectible i am

[budsyralli]

crow went pro, didn't you know?