Tool March 2013 Newsletter released

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MOG
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Post by MOG » Wed Apr 03, 2013 9:44 am

From Toolband

 

"SERV-PRO MOTTO: "LIKE IT NEVER HAPPENED"

This morning the team at Serv-Pro (fire damage restoration) were called to the loft, and now at 8:57 am (PST), it's like it never happened. Best of all, members of the expert clean up team were able to retrieve the musical sections from the damaged hard drive. Amazingly, they didn't accomplish this by fixing the charred machine... NO, instead, two of the Serv-Pro crew asked Adam and Justin to play the music leading up to the 'lost' section. After the band members did so, the Serv-Pro guys asked if they could borrow their guitars for a minute. Seconds later - still wearing their hard hats - the Serv-Pro experts played the exact same a bridge and middle sections that the band members had recorded (and thought might be lost forever). This was then recorded on another hard drive (and backed up elsewhere!) Truly amazing! And true to their motto:"Like it never happened.""

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Post by Kittaan » Wed Apr 03, 2013 9:48 am

^ Case closed.

 

And if BMB wrote that (who else?), in your face people who were slagging him off.  That was all kinds of awesome.
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Post by markuspoop » Wed Apr 03, 2013 9:48 am

Damn!!!!  Those Serv-Pro guys can do it all.
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Post by Zwerewolf » Wed Apr 03, 2013 10:47 am

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST ALREADY! It's insignificant information! The most vital piece of the info released was that a few of Justin's guitars got burned!

That little piece of music that was on the hard drive is nothing. They can more than likely re-create it or make it better without a doubt. How is this a joke? It seems legit and if it's not then woo hoo jokes on us! Good one Blair!...

If it were a joke I'm sure he'd make it sound more serious. A snippet of a song and some guitars that Justin can easily replace. I'm sure they also had insurance on the loft in addition to the instruments so... no biggie.

Mutha fuckas in here will argue and bicker over anything in these forums just for the sake of being dick heads. "I'm the biggest dick in the land!" "No I'm the biggest dick in the land." Well... ladies and gentlemen... whip em out! Let's see what you got!

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Post by Zwerewolf » Wed Apr 03, 2013 10:51 am

PS- Energy drink and other consumer product commercials are popular for celebs over in Japan...

Aren't they heading over to Japan soon? It's a possibility that Danny is doing an energy drink commercial over there and why not just do it for the novelty? Would be kind of fun have you seen their TV ads?

Regardless... if it's all false, good one Blair... good one. I need more coffee to take a shit this morning... I'm backed up. Maybe I need a Japanese energy drink...?

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Post by Zwerewolf » Wed Apr 03, 2013 10:54 am

Actually, Serv-Pro are on our list of preferred providers within the company I work for so we recommend them all the time. Usually very nice and very thorough with their work. Jokes and jokes and jokes.

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Post by MOG » Wed Apr 03, 2013 11:03 am

^ LOL Dude I just posted directly from Toolband.  It was a well done April Fools Joke.  Props to Blair on that one.

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Post by Zwerewolf » Wed Apr 03, 2013 11:07 am

Very hilarious! Now we know it's a joke! Now we can move on with our lives! .... again... must take a dump...

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'][' [[]] [[]] ][,
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Post by '][' [[]] [[]] ][, » Wed Apr 03, 2013 11:34 am

Zwerewolf said
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST ALREADY! It's insignificant information! The most vital piece of the info released was that a few of Justin's guitars got burned!

That little piece of music that was on the hard drive is nothing. They can more than likely re-create it or make it better without a doubt. How is this a joke? It seems legit and if it's not then woo hoo jokes on us! Good one Blair!...

If it were a joke I'm sure he'd make it sound more serious. A snippet of a song and some guitars that Justin can easily replace. I'm sure they also had insurance on the loft in addition to the instruments so... no biggie.

Mutha fuckas in here will argue and bicker over anything in these forums just for the sake of being dick heads. "I'm the biggest dick in the land!" "No I'm the biggest dick in the land." Well... ladies and gentlemen... whip em out! Let's see what you got!


Then why the fuck are you arguing?

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Post by Zwerewolf » Wed Apr 03, 2013 1:06 pm

@][' [[]] [[]] ][,

"Hey, I'll tell you what. You can get a good look at a butcher's ass by sticking your head up there. But, wouldn't you rather to take his word for it?"

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Post by not tyson » Wed Apr 03, 2013 2:30 pm

lol hellboy even fell for it

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Post by hellboy » Wed Apr 03, 2013 3:13 pm

So does this mean Buzz really won the Opiate ticket?

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Post by void » Wed Apr 03, 2013 3:15 pm

The Loft is behind storefronts down a tiny alley, off of Hollywood Blvd in a ghetto section of East Hollywood. If there were a fire or something happening there I doubt it would've been "news" or even reported. Who cares though?...This is just more Blair toying with everyone. And it worked lol

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Post by not tyson » Wed Apr 03, 2013 3:21 pm

hellboy1975 said
So does this mean Buzz really won the Opiate ticket?


You mean Deke Rivers?

 

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Post by Kittaan » Wed Apr 03, 2013 3:39 pm


Tyson said


hellboy1975 said
So does this mean Buzz really won the Opiate ticket?


You mean Deke Rivers?

 


You DO realize that's just an anagram for Kid Severer, right?

 


Ki77aan :twisted:

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Post by bob » Wed Apr 03, 2013 4:37 pm

 

 ya, see, i kinda got the hang of this by now! (i bloody should) i truely didnt get all crazy on it and really thought 'fuck them and their bullshit, if its true then lets see some real evidence' and then the next day they said it was not true. HA HA. although i'll give them credit this year by throwing another thing in the mix with BUZZ and the golden ticket. but i say the same thing. who cares. somehow i doubt he won it but even if he did thats kinda odd and most will think its a setup!

 

 

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Post by The Boss » Wed Apr 03, 2013 5:13 pm

mogeffingmog said
From Toolband

 

"SERV-PRO MOTTO: "LIKE IT NEVER HAPPENED"

This morning the team at Serv-Pro (fire damage restoration) were called to the loft, and now at 8:57 am (PST), it's like it never happened. Best of all, members of the expert clean up team were able to retrieve the musical sections from the damaged hard drive. Amazingly, they didn't accomplish this by fixing the charred machine... NO, instead, two of the Serv-Pro crew asked Adam and Justin to play the music leading up to the 'lost' section. After the band members did so, the Serv-Pro guys asked if they could borrow their guitars for a minute. Seconds later - still wearing their hard hats - the Serv-Pro experts played the exact same a bridge and middle sections that the band members had recorded (and thought might be lost forever). This was then recorded on another hard drive (and backed up elsewhere!) Truly amazing! And true to their motto:"Like it never happened.""


Wow. This was, by far, the best April Fool's Day joke I've ever come across.

Such finesse. Such intrigue. So very, very clever.

 
O love will you read the letters I will send to you.

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Post by bogie314 » Thu Apr 04, 2013 12:05 am

Oh man, what a bunch of wankers, LMFAO, because if you don't laugh you have to just cry! I spent another 15 mins reading yet another circle jerk of posts from the same old one eyed willy wonkas spitting their same old one line jizz back and forth again! Go brush your teeth you cock eyed groupies lol! You know who you are, yeah, you little knob pricks registering your 1000th post because it's a fucking contest to you! Not only are you groupies, but turns out you're also stalkers, apparent circle jerkers and just plain old wanker tools sharing your Fool's Gold with everyone. I'd rather be watching Leprechaun instead of spending my time reading your usual Fool's Gold nonsense wisdom!

Yeah, I'm sure "Justin's Guitars" could have burned! Yep. Bitches. Maybe one of you is a plumber and could pop up in the loft through one of the toilets like the leprechaun bitch you are, lmfao!

Man, I just wish I could read something with substance from one of these pricks posting the same old shit in a different way....something truly newsworthy related to a cool band I can't wait to hear from again. No wonder Maynard can't be bothered to ever break it down for a bunch of piss ass drunk tools....shit, most of them can't even read between the lines of that silence after all these years.

By the way, thanks Children. As new as you appear to be to the world/history of Tool, at least your posts are a breath of fresh air even if you're met with contempt by all the usual suspect wankers on this site. Keep doing your thing!

All this nonsense over an April Fool's post....enough, I'm signing off for good. That's the last time you circle jerks wasted my 15 minutes. Later Wankers!

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Post by void » Thu Apr 04, 2013 12:23 am

Is this what being British has truly become? A contest to see how many times you can say the words "wanker" "pub" and "bloody" in one day? You people really are so one dimensional...

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Post by doors » Thu Apr 04, 2013 12:31 am

Satan said

snazzlefrass said


Nostrenominon said
When you say "April 1st, 2013" out loud you say the month first, the day, then the year. How is 4/1/13 any different? If anyone is backwards is the bloddy buggering wankers over seas.


Calm down. Not every culture is the same. An argument could be made for those who say "First of April, 2013."

 

On somewhat of a topic, by the way, doesn't that gold seal thingy buzz is holding look like a credit card to anyone else? Maybe they're giving 1/5th of the profits from the sales to each lucky recipient?

hahahahaha one can dream.

 


And two can dance!

 



 


When I say the date I always start with the "1st of April, 2013"- day, month and then year. Start small and so on.

What the fuck is a yard and how do you measure it? Fucking Americans...

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Post by Calfium Jay » Thu Apr 04, 2013 3:19 am

I love this board I really do.

Instead of reading the morning papers now, I just mosey on down to ol' Fourtheye Central.

Priceless.

 

And how's about that Blair guy? Huh? Huh? I mean have you ever? Ever? No, I'll bet you haven't!!

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Post by The Boss » Thu Apr 04, 2013 5:03 am

bogie314 said
Oh man, what a bunch of wankers, LMFAO, because if you don't laugh you have to just cry! I spent another 15 mins reading yet another circle jerk of posts from the same old one eyed willy wonkas spitting their same old one line jizz back and forth again! Go brush your teeth you cock eyed groupies lol! You know who you are, yeah, you little knob pricks registering your 1000th post because it's a fucking contest to you! Not only are you groupies, but turns out you're also stalkers, apparent circle jerkers and just plain old wanker tools sharing your Fool's Gold with everyone. I'd rather be watching Leprechaun instead of spending my time reading your usual Fool's Gold nonsense wisdom!

Yeah, I'm sure "Justin's Guitars" could have burned! Yep. Bitches. Maybe one of you is a plumber and could pop up in the loft through one of the toilets like the leprechaun bitch you are, lmfao!

Man, I just wish I could read something with substance from one of these pricks posting the same old shit in a different way....something truly newsworthy related to a cool band I can't wait to hear from again. No wonder Maynard can't be bothered to ever break it down for a bunch of piss ass drunk tools....shit, most of them can't even read between the lines of that silence after all these years.

By the way, thanks Children. As new as you appear to be to the world/history of Tool, at least your posts are a breath of fresh air even if you're met with contempt by all the usual suspect wankers on this site. Keep doing your thing!

All this nonsense over an April Fool's post....enough, I'm signing off for good. That's the last time you circle jerks wasted my 15 minutes. Later Wankers!


Awww, what a sweetheart!

Post Of The Week, imho.

You do have a point, if I'm being honest. Nowhere does it say, however, that you have to fight fire with fire.

 
O love will you read the letters I will send to you.

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Post by The Boss » Thu Apr 04, 2013 5:04 am

Calfium Jay said
I love this board I really do.

Instead of reading the morning papers now, I just mosey on down to ol' Fourtheye Central.

Priceless.

 

And how's about that Blair guy? Huh? Huh? I mean have you ever? Ever? No, I'll bet you haven't!!


Does he have a job? Like, a real one? I'm not being snarky; I genuinely want to know.
O love will you read the letters I will send to you.

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Post by hellboy » Thu Apr 04, 2013 5:35 am

The Boss said 
Does he have a job? Like, a real one? I'm not being snarky; I genuinely want to know.


Well, he writes books, though I doubt that any of those plugged on Toolband sell enough to make that his primary source of income.  He was a musician  in a band back in the 70s - again I doubt they were popular enough to make a real living from.

Despite the naysayers, it appears to me he is an accomplished writer, and my guess would be that he has made a living from that in some form.

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Post by The Boss » Thu Apr 04, 2013 5:38 am

hellboy1975 said

The Boss said 
Does he have a job? Like, a real one? I'm not being snarky; I genuinely want to know.


Well, he writes books, though I doubt that any of those plugged on Toolband sell enough to make that his primary source of income.  He was a musician  in a band back in the 70s - again I doubt they were popular enough to make a real living from.

Despite the naysayers, it appears to me he is an accomplished writer, and my guess would be that he has made a living from that in some form.


Fair enough. All I wanted to know.

 
O love will you read the letters I will send to you.

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