Shit I post on Fourtheye that doesn't deserve a new thread

The Main Event
User avatar
hellboy
Site Admin
Posts: 12220
Joined: Sat Dec 31, 2005 10:01 pm
Height: 182cm
Contact:

Shit I post on Fourtheye that doesn't deserve a new thread

Post by hellboy »

New Newsletter is out:
Without much other news this month, I was hoping to be able to more accurately report on certain rumors involving this so-called "curveball" from the band that has been recently tossed around on certain fansites. Being unable to drive my car while on medication after having a 'wisdom' tooth extracted, I figured that I could astral project myself to the (Tool) loft to look for further evidence. So, after passing one of my variations on "The Popcicles are in Bloom" tests, I received clearance to engage in a certain Projection-by-Symbol technique (symbol doorway) and soon found myself dissociated from any physical bounds and ready for a hopefully successful journey.

Once in my non-physical vehicle (a consecrated blacked-out bubble), although I could have arrived at the Tool loft almost instantaneously, because I hadn't been out and about in my subtle body for a while (if you don't count the recent oral surgery), I decided to first check out the plasticity of the co-existing planes, only to find myself stuck in the mass transit debacle of one of the interpenetrating slow going boulevards.

Looking around from the safely of my murdered out bubble, all around me I could see the usual astral creations and visitants - a multi-colored ballet of perichorertic impressions and radiations gathered at crowded neon-splashed dimensional transfer-points and way stations beneath billboards advertising "Dripping Feet (sic) Elixirs" and the new season for the "Real Housewives of Atlantis" (Damn these too similar special co-ordinates!). Yep, there they were everywhere within the mindscape - elementals, phantasms and contaminated astral bastards with shiny golden tokens to Pacoima astral hells. (A pox on all those O.T.O. Minervals and the wandering nature of the mind!).

Looking closer, I was beginning to wonder if I was really in my aftermarket wheels? What with the contaminated silicone monstrosities with their clip-in crayola extensions and designer Eco Totes sipping peach cobbler frappuccinos juxtaposed with the tattooed street urchins wearing Pimpstar hoodies and snapbacks while eating phantom(?) shriveled intesti-tubes right off the greasy 7-11 rollers, could these really be light-energy mechanisms? Whatever the case, having enough of these braided Yesodic nymph-orbs and spherical weirdoes with their edgy boutique barber cuts and laser ironed ball sacs, I softly tumbled in the darkness and without any restrictions whatsoever entered the heavily bolted doors of the loft whereupon, as one might imagine, I began exploring the front room.

The first thing that I noticed was that some of the band's equipment had been moved back to their usual places, meaning that the guys had probably delivered the goods to MJK, and were now back in their 'normal' writing session mode. Then I saw further evidence on a new Dry-Erase board that was filled with indecipherable scrawls written with a red marker. Studying this the best I could, I realized that this indeed was a curveball of the likes of Feller or Blylevin. But then again, a better baseball pitch analogy might be that of a changeup such as thrown by Martinez, Verlander or Glavine.

Not completely convinced by the mnemonic devices and such on the board, as a test of sorts, I moved in the darkness to the antique Pepsi cooler in the adjoining room and opened it to find hyper-mineralized oxygenated alkaline water and several bottles of St. Pauli Girl. The latter I attempted to change into Budweiser in order to make sure that I was really at the loft as opposed to some imaginal landscape. Unable to do so, I knew that I was definitely in the right place. Perhaps the satay skewers of Thai leftovers on the bar should have been enough proof!

Continuing, I saw some sheets of a crudely printed calendar, which I soon realized was a schedule for future Tool writing sessions. Turning it to the month of September, I had to shake my head in disbelief. Not again!!! And with a perfectly good Gelson's close by. Oh, well, at least I now knew what my next (September) newsletter was going to be about. Before doing so, however, to answer those email questions about any contention between the supposed hidden track, "Problem 8: The Riemann Hypothesis" and the "Bethlehem Abortion Clinic" record in the spoof catalog in the import release of the "Aenima" CD, I can tell you unequivocally that there is NOT (other than the obvious). And as for the name "Volto" being an anagram for "Tool V", although technically it is, this is merely a coincidence...
User avatar
the chill
Duck Hater
Posts: 386
Joined: Sun Aug 11, 2013 12:40 am
Location: San Diego

Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by the chill »

I dig the av hellboy!

As for the newsletter typical Blair. I am a pro at skimming the newsletter's for important news. Do you guys think the curveball is not related to the album? Whatever it is, he sure as hell been draggin it out a while.
User avatar
Kittaan
Peen Taster
Posts: 5079
Joined: Thu Apr 09, 2009 10:56 am
Location: , Location, Location!

Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by Kittaan »

At this point, Tool releasing (not re-releasing) anything could be seen as a curveball.
Ki77aan :twisted:
User avatar
'][' [[]] [[]] ][,
RIP
Posts: 337
Joined: Fri Oct 30, 2009 12:49 pm
Location: All of them.

Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by '][' [[]] [[]] ][, »

If someone who had never heard TOOL's music read that, or any of Blair's newsletters, they would think that TOOL is quite lame.
User avatar
hellboy
Site Admin
Posts: 12220
Joined: Sat Dec 31, 2005 10:01 pm
Height: 182cm
Contact:

Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by hellboy »

If someone who had never heard TOOL's music read that, or any of Blair's newsletters, they would think that TOOL is quite lame.
Good for them I guess. I stopped caring what uninterested parties thought of things when I was about 20.
User avatar
'][' [[]] [[]] ][,
RIP
Posts: 337
Joined: Fri Oct 30, 2009 12:49 pm
Location: All of them.

Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by '][' [[]] [[]] ][, »

hellboy wrote:
If someone who had never heard TOOL's music read that, or any of Blair's newsletters, they would think that TOOL is quite lame.
Good for them I guess. I stopped caring what uninterested parties thought of things when I was about 20.
I highly doubt that.
insertcrypticnamehe
Maynard Believer
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Aug 28, 2013 9:24 pm

Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by insertcrypticnamehe »

Opiate 20th anniversary re-release 6 month anniversary re-release?
User avatar
not tyson
Grammy Winner
Posts: 5413
Joined: Sat Aug 03, 2013 7:17 am
Height: 186cm

Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by not tyson »

'The first thing that I noticed was that some of the band's equipment had been moved back to their usual places, meaning that the guys had probably delivered the goods to MJK, and were now back in their 'normal' writing session mode.'

Huh, what does that mean?

Normal means they've got the core of the songs down and now are just playing around with the arrangements?
sublime5446
Fanboi
Posts: 91
Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2010 10:26 am

Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by sublime5446 »

insertcrypticnamehe wrote:Opiate 20th anniversary re-release 6 month anniversary re-release?
Lol.

Blair has never once come through on actually talking about any of these big things or curveballs. Strange because he seems to be really well acquainted with big things , fleshy ones at least ;)
User avatar
hellboy
Site Admin
Posts: 12220
Joined: Sat Dec 31, 2005 10:01 pm
Height: 182cm
Contact:

Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by hellboy »

Not Tyson wrote:'The first thing that I noticed was that some of the band's equipment had been moved back to their usual places, meaning that the guys had probably delivered the goods to MJK, and were now back in their 'normal' writing session mode.'

Huh, what does that mean?

Normal means they've got the core of the songs down and now are just playing around with the arrangements?
It is strange. I sounds to me like they have recorded something, and I'm not sure they'd go to the effort of recording outside of the Loft if it were just for Maynard's benefit.

Adding 2 and 2 together suggests to me that they've recorded something, and it's probably to do with the curveball.
User avatar
Ravenpig
Peen Taster
Posts: 5111
Joined: Sun Aug 04, 2013 6:52 pm

Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by Ravenpig »

"Equipment had been moved back "

Maybe Adam and Justin spent some time in Arizona while Danny was Voltoing it up?
Hey! Denty!
trilobite
Rhandy
Posts: 807
Joined: Mon Aug 19, 2013 10:27 am

Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by trilobite »

I took that as they had certain equipment moved out to record the music for MJK, and have since moved that equipment back.
also, Avatar!
User avatar
ilikecheese
Hey Jude
Posts: 2429
Joined: Tue Nov 13, 2007 5:38 pm

Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by ilikecheese »

blair wrote:But then again, a better baseball pitch analogy might be that of a changeup such as thrown by Martinez, Verlander or Glavine.
Interestingly enough, the aforementioned Detroit Tiger pitcher Justin Verlander shows us all of his 'pitch grips.'

Curiously though, one pitch is explained.....but not shown.

[BBvideo 560,340][/BBvideo]

Is this coincidence? Blind luck? Fate? Or are there other, more sinister, powers at work here?



And how did I find this video so fast and make this connection?
The above post is entertainment. It is most likely not directed at any individual unless specified. Any other interpretation, gleaning, or reckoning, of this post without the express, written, consent of Cheese, is strictly prohibited.
User avatar
Kittaan
Peen Taster
Posts: 5079
Joined: Thu Apr 09, 2009 10:56 am
Location: , Location, Location!

Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by Kittaan »

ilikecheese wrote:And how did I find this video so fast and make this connection?
Easy: Because you are Blair. Everyone knows it.
Ki77aan :twisted:
User avatar
MOG
Scissorman
Posts: 1322
Joined: Wed Feb 06, 2013 5:55 am

Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by MOG »

*insert sarcastacuntish Tool/Tool fan related post here*
User avatar
Kittaan
Peen Taster
Posts: 5079
Joined: Thu Apr 09, 2009 10:56 am
Location: , Location, Location!

Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by Kittaan »

MOG wrote:*insert sarcastacuntish Tool/Tool fan related post here*
Mog is just phoning it in now.
Ki77aan :twisted:
User avatar
ilikecheese
Hey Jude
Posts: 2429
Joined: Tue Nov 13, 2007 5:38 pm

Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by ilikecheese »

Kittaan wrote:
MOG wrote:*insert sarcastacuntish Tool/Tool fan related post here*
Mog is just phoning it in now.
If by actual phone I sincerely DOUBT IT!
The above post is entertainment. It is most likely not directed at any individual unless specified. Any other interpretation, gleaning, or reckoning, of this post without the express, written, consent of Cheese, is strictly prohibited.
User avatar
N.Y.H.C.
Serial Thrilla
Posts: 3604
Joined: Wed Aug 07, 2013 10:22 am

Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by N.Y.H.C. »

I think "ilikecheese" aka Blair, should break it down for us Fourth Eye style. BING!

Image
Asteroids do not concern me, Admiral. I want that ship, not excuses.
User avatar
ilikecheese
Hey Jude
Posts: 2429
Joined: Tue Nov 13, 2007 5:38 pm

Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by ilikecheese »

The above post is entertainment. It is most likely not directed at any individual unless specified. Any other interpretation, gleaning, or reckoning, of this post without the express, written, consent of Cheese, is strictly prohibited.
User avatar
Kittaan
Peen Taster
Posts: 5079
Joined: Thu Apr 09, 2009 10:56 am
Location: , Location, Location!

Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by Kittaan »

ilikecheese wrote:monkey killing monkey!!!
Dude! Monkeys are EXPLODING there. Right now. EXPLODING MONKEYS.

Much better band name than Arctic Monkeys by far, just saying.
Ki77aan :twisted:
User avatar
ilikecheese
Hey Jude
Posts: 2429
Joined: Tue Nov 13, 2007 5:38 pm

Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by ilikecheese »

The above post is entertainment. It is most likely not directed at any individual unless specified. Any other interpretation, gleaning, or reckoning, of this post without the express, written, consent of Cheese, is strictly prohibited.
User avatar
Krazy_blah
Fornicraster
Posts: 603
Joined: Tue Jul 30, 2013 2:13 pm

Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by Krazy_blah »

Would've been better if the Adam Jones from Baltimore was wearing that- he was in the opposite dug out FFS. Such a damn shame they wasted that golden opportunity.
Generic triangle avatar lives on.
User avatar
hellboy
Site Admin
Posts: 12220
Joined: Sat Dec 31, 2005 10:01 pm
Height: 182cm
Contact:

Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by hellboy »

Big Business got some new shit coming:
Big Business have called a press release to announce their new album Battlefields Forever which will be released on Halloween for your listening pleasure.



Sounds like they won’t be touring for a while though, as singer/bassplayer Jared is expecting a baby shortly, so no tours until Spring. This would also include the Melvins, so I’m not sure what version of them we’ll see here in December but I’m expecting it’ll be the 4-piece from their last tour with Butthole Surfer Jess Pinkus on bass.

For those with short memories, Big Business supported Tool during their 2007 tour.
User avatar
fortysixand2
Uncle Fucker
Posts: 1112
Joined: Tue May 29, 2007 10:02 am

Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by fortysixand2 »

Jared looks weird without the hair.
User avatar
N.Y.H.C.
Serial Thrilla
Posts: 3604
Joined: Wed Aug 07, 2013 10:22 am

Re: Shit I post on Fourtheye that don't deserve a new thread

Post by N.Y.H.C. »

hellboy wrote:Big Business got some new shit coming:
Big Business have called a press release to announce their new album Battlefields Forever which will be released on Halloween for your listening pleasure.



Sounds like they won’t be touring for a while though, as singer/bassplayer Jared is expecting a baby shortly, so no tours until Spring. This would also include the Melvins, so I’m not sure what version of them we’ll see here in December but I’m expecting it’ll be the 4-piece from their last tour with Butthole Surfer Jess Pinkus on bass.

For those with short memories, Big Business supported Tool during their 2007 tour.
isn't the guy all the way on the right in Dream Theater? I could be wrong.
Asteroids do not concern me, Admiral. I want that ship, not excuses.
Post Reply